


Out of his Depth

by agnes_writes



Category: The Folk of the Air - Holly Black
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cardan accidentally shoplifts from Sephora, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff, Jude's POV, Post-Canon, They visit the human realm, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Yes you read that right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25306918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agnes_writes/pseuds/agnes_writes
Summary: It seems that wherever Cardan goes, trouble follows, Jude thinks to herself. The problem this time? He accidentally shoplifts from Sephora on their first date in the human realm.
Relationships: Jude Duarte/Cardan Greenbriar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 109





	Out of his Depth

**Author's Note:**

> Your girl's back at it again with her favorite murder-y losers! I can't get enough of these two, I swear. They deserve the domestic fluff and some hugs, so I wrote this! I hope you enjoy it!

Jude is going to murder her husband, she truly is.

“Mind explaining yourselves?” the stern man in the security uniform asks in front of them.

Jude presses her lips together, trying to clamp down on the irritation broiling just underneath her skin as she returns his stare. She isn't a person to be intimidated, and she's going to prove it.

The room is suffocatingly small—grey walls painted from floor to ceiling, a small certificate in a frame hanging on the wall. Jude tries to make out the words, but they're too infuriatingly small to be readable—she thinks it's a certification for the man to be working there as a head of security, though she can't be sure why he even needs it. The man sits behind a tiny wooden desk, hands entwined with each other as his eyes flit from her to Cardan, clearly trying to assess the situation. Jude's lips twist in disgust as Cardan squirms in the small chair he sits in next to her, and it takes all of her self-control not to kick him in the shin.

“Can you tell us what our offense is?” Cardan asks, and Jude almost buries her face in her hands at just how utterly stupid the question is.

She loves him, she really does, but sometimes he can be so _dense_.

“You're asking me that?” the man asks, unamused, and Jude shakes her head, about to explain but he cuts her off.

“Your little boyfriend here, missy—” the word irks Jude even more, “—just shoplifted from one of our stores.”

“I didn't know.” Cardan interjects, and Jude sighs inwardly. Cardan can't lie, though the officer didn't know that.

“Tell him, Jude, I really didn't know—” Cardan starts tugging on her sleeve, but Jude swats his hand away.

“Quiet, Cardan.” Jude mutters, eyes still trained on the man. Her gaze travels down to the tiny patch sewn on his white polo, almost hidden behind his black tie. His guard cap is settled on the desk, the logo of the mall embroidered on its front. She makes out the name: Suarez, M.

“Officer Suarez, I apologize for my boyfriend's—”

“Husband!” Cardan protests, and she can practically see the pout on his face. Officer Suarez arches a brow.

“— _husband's_ —” she corrects herself, “—deplorable actions. He's... new here.” Jude bites out. It isn't a lie.

“What kind of place does he come from that makes him think he can take what he wants without paying for it, Mrs. Duarte-Greenbriar?” he asks, checking their papers for her last name.

Despite herself, hearing Cardan's last name next to hers sends an undercurrent of contentment in her chest, cutting through the still-boiling irritation and she bites back a grin.

“He hasn't actually gone outside to do errands for himself until now. He's a spoiled little thing, Officer Suarez.” Jude coos, trying to sound amicable. She thinks it sounds unnatural, forced—Taryn was always better at persuasion at her, and Jude curses herself for it now. Then again, she never took into account that she would have to talk her way out of getting arrested for thievery.

Again, it isn't a lie. Cardan has spent the latter part of his lie bathing in riches and drinking wine, his every need catered to with faeries that would trip over their two feet trying to get it to him immediately. He speaks in bargains and decrees—Jude is sure he's never bought anything in this entire life.

She glances at Cardan, and he looks like a scolded child, staring at his clenched knuckles on his lap. His ink-black hair falls on his face, almost obscuring the view from his dark eyes. Somehow, he makes a hoodie and ripped jeans look elegantly beautiful. Jude wants to scoff—faeries would make anything look beautiful.

“Are you really pleading ignorance, Mrs. Greenbriar?”

“I am—he's a lost thing. Kind of like a child that would cause trouble when left unattended. He truly didn't mean it, did you, love?”

Cardan perks up at the word, lips parted with surprise. It's not often Jude uses a term of endearment, and his eyes shone with delight. Still, he clears his throat. “I did not mean it. I'm sorry, Officer.”

Jude smiles a sickly sweet smile, clasping Cardan's hand in hers. She squeezes it, partly a show for the head of security who looks like he's on the verge of putting both in handcuffs and having dragged out of the mall, and partly a reassurance for him.

“May we just pay for the things and head on our way, Officer? I promise I'm going to keep an eye on him.”

Officer Suarez stares at them with hard eyes for a minute, making Jude think that he's actually going to send them to jail—she's already dreading to explain to Vivi how they got arrested on their first date in the mortal world when Officer Suarez grunts and hands them a slip of paper.

“That's the total. Go back to Sephora and pay every last cent of that. You're lucky you caught me in a good mood, Mrs. Greenbriar. Next time, I won't be so understanding of your...” he glares at Cardan, and the want to defend Cardan floods Jude, “...foreign husband causing trouble.”

She takes note of the price before pocketing the paper.

“Thank you, Officer, I promise we won't cause you any trouble. We're awfully sorry for the inconvenience.”

Perhaps she should buy mouthwash on the way home as well, Jude thinks, wanting to scrub off the honeyed words off her tongue.

She stands up, hand still tucked in Cardan's and pulls him to the door. Cardan says a final, feeble apology before the door clicks shut behind them.

“Don't kill me.” Cardan immediately says as they start striding back to Sephora. Jude stays silent, irritation coming back full force as she starts recounting the events in her head.

All she wanted to do is have a nice date with her husband without _one_ mishap.

“My love, please say something. You have that look on your face that you only get when you're about to decapitate someone, and to be honest, I certainly don't want to be on the receiving end of that.” Cardan continues to say, his nervousness now leaking into his tone. Jude closes her eyes and bites the inside of her cheeks, not wanting to say anything she'll regret.

“Then again, if you wanted to kill me, you would have done so already. Or maybe you're leading me to a place where no one will see my body? That would make sense—”

“Are you going to keep talking, Cardan?” Jude asks with a scathing tone.

“Just trying to lighten the mood, love.” Cardan says.

“Well, that kind of talk isn't helping. It's only giving me ideas.” Jude shoots back.

Cardan stays quiet after that, and Jude focuses on the brightly lit walkways of the mall.

It's certainly been a while since she's been inside one of them, and it is Cardan's first time. She couldn't help but grin at his awe as he stared at the endless line of boutiques bursting with colorful displays, the smell of fried fast food in the air, and the static chatter of people going in and out of the shops only a few hours ago.

She supposes it's her fault for even taking him to the make-up store in the first place.

They arrive at the cashier, and Jude slips out the note. The attendant nods, typing something in the register.

“That'll be $174.99, Miss.”

Jude nods, letting go of Cardan's hand to rummage for Vivi's credit card.

“Excuse my being forward, but you're very pretty, Miss.” Jude blinks, her head shooting up at the cashier's statement. “Are you single?” he asks.

“She's married.” Cardan says, voice hard, and Jude finds him with his arms crossed and eyes glaring holes into the cashier's head. He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her close to him until their sides are pressed up.

“Oh, I mean,” the cashier stutters out, and Jude feels a twinge of pity for him, “you seem very young to be married. So I just thought—”

“Well, you thought wrong. She's _my_ wife.”

Jude picks up the pace and hands him the credit card, and soon she and Cardan were out of the store and eating nachos on a food court table.

“That mortal had some nerve.” Cardan grunts, jamming his nacho with unnecessary force into the dip. Jude scoffs.

“You have some nerve, too, acting like that after you almost committed a felony.”

“I didn't know you were supposed to pay for them!”

“You're a massive idiot, aren't you?”

“How was I supposed to know?”

“I thought I told you I was going to be back, I just needed to go to the bathroom.”

“Well, you were taking too long,” Cardan replies, and Jude really does think he's acting like a complete child.

Yet somehow, he still looks achingly beautiful.

She decides to let it go, shaking her head. “Well, it's over now. Just be glad I managed to weasel us out of that one. Vivi would never let me live it down had I called her to bail us out.”

“You're learning, aren't you? The half-truths were very impressive, I'd like to say.”

Jude rolls her eyes, flicking some sauce into his face. His eyes widen, offended, before flicking some back in her direction.

“Just don't do it again. And don't antagonize random mall staff.”

“He deserved it, I think. Besides, I only told him the truth, you _are_ my wife, and my queen.”

“Well, your queen isn't very happy with how this date's going so far.” Jude sighs, and she considers just going back to the apartment and trying it again for another time.

They stay silent, eating, when Cardan grabs her hand and brushes her knuckles with his thumb tenderly. “I'm sorry.”

Jude blinks, heart skipping. Cursed little thing.

“What?”

“I'm sorry for making you unhappy. You deserve a much better—ah, what's it called?”

“Date.”

“Yes, that, a much better date.”

Jude shakes her head, giving him a small smile. She's been doing that a lot since she's married him.

“It's fine, Cardan.”

“But it isn't—”

“It is. It's only 2 PM, the mall closes at 9. We have plenty of time.”

Cardan stares at her, a million different emotions flickering in his eyes. She still doesn't know how to interpret most of them, but she has her entire life ahead of her to learn. But there is one emotion that she knows far too well, one that she sees in her own reflection when her thoughts always come home to him.

It's love.

So she smiles at him and covers his hand in hers, squeezing.

He smiles back at her, and her irritation melts away.

“So what exactly was so important to show me that you just had to take it from the store?”

“Oh!” Cardan starts, and rummages through his bag to pull out sticks of lipstick and eyeshadow palettes. Jude's jaw drops.

“Is this all for you?”

“What? No.”

“Then what—”

“It's for you, of course!” Jude is more confused than ever now, which says a lot. Cardan opens the tube of lipstick to show a deep red shade. He holds it up, smiling triumphantly.

“You'd look stunning in this color, love. All of Elfhame wouldn't be able to stop staring at you.”

“And this!” he cracks the lid of the palette open to reveal different shades of brown, silver and greys. He presses a finger on one of the pans and it comes away with a color that looks like starlight.

“This would look enchanting in your eyes—I could just sit there and look at them for hours. Though...” Cardan trails off, but Jude is still reeling from what she's hearing him say.

“...I certainly don't want to share you with anyone, your beauty is already getting out of control, if that mortal boy's intentions are anything to go by.” Cardan says, the annoyance coming back to his voice, but his eyes stay trained on Jude.

“Do you like them, at least? You went through a lot of trouble because of it. Again, I'm sorry about that.”

“I...”

Jude isn't speechless very often. She's never really thought much of her looks—Taryn had dutifully took place of the beautiful, amicable twin, and Jude was free to run wild and harden herself as a soldier because of it.

She's never considered herself beautiful, but with the way Cardan is staring at her, like she is the only thing worth looking at, even in a brand new world to him.

Her heart aches with happiness.

“I do like them.”

Cardan breaks into a smile and starts to talk about how excited he is about seeing a _movie_ with her later, —“It's a story told in pictures? And it's gigantic? What magic do they use?”—and ice cream—“I have to ask the cooks to make us these in the palace.”—but all Jude could think of is how she'll spend the rest of her very short life with him.

And how that seems like a wonderful way to spend it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! I apologize for the mistakes, English isn't my first language.
> 
> Please don't be afraid to tell me what you think in the comments, feedback is very important to me! Stay lovely! 💕


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